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20131202
20131210
Search Results 0 to 16 of about 17 (some duplicates have been removed)
- so you're telling us that dr. janus has been the owner of city wok all this time? - that's right. of all his multiple personalities, the strongest was lu kim, and we never would have known if it hadn't have been for inspector butters. [applause] - thanks. i'm just glad the whole thing is over and done. maybe now poor ol' dr. janus can finally get the help he needs. - yes, butters, thanks to you maybe dr. janus can get back to his real self. - yes, i'm sure he could. but then again... does the world really need another therapist? - what do you mean? - well, i mean, would it really be so bad for us to just let him go on thinking he's lu kim forever? now that city sushi is gone, city wok is the only chinese restaurant left in town. - oh, yeah. - yeah! let's just let him keep believing he's a chinese man. - done. - good! - all right! [all cheering] - detective, he's asking for a blanket. is that all right? - go ahead. we're gonna process him and get him back to the restaurant. - thank you. [thinking] ooh, i hate a japanese people. they try and shut down my city wok. but they never wi
that this six foot five sandinists yette was coming it our city goodbye. >> jon:. >> i'll all right i'll stay. after everything the wealthy have done for you mayor bloomberg understands. >> if we do get every billionaire around here it would be a good send. they would pay a lot of taxes, spend a lot of money in the stores and restaurants and create a big chunk of our economy and we take tax revenues from those people to help people throughout the entire rest of spectrum. >> we billionaires are new york city. whereas new york is yankee stadium with the best seats bought up by bankers who don't even use them. new york is the statue of liberty. closed for a private event. >> jon: that was closed because of hurricane sandy. >> that's what they told you because you were not invited. >> jon: what was the event? >> i can't tell you but it was a secret sex party with masks. i don't know who i was having sex with a woman who looked like sumner redstone with a mask on p. the point is he is going to turn this city into a living hell. >> jon: he's not. all he is doing is adding a half percent tax increas
of fast food workers on strike across hundreds of cities in the united states, so we dive right in and read some viewer mail. >> folks, got a big file right here. our first letter tonight comes to us on actual paper. dear stephen, which power is better, flight or invisibility? i am asking for a friend. sincerely, stephen colbert, but not you. that's nice, steven, i recognize my own handwriting. okay, let's settle this one, for once and all, obviously flight and invisibility have big pros and cons. flight, problematic because i am scared of heights, but so is invisibility, because i am scared of people not noticing me. so that's a tie. one point each. now let's talk the economics of the situation. the most recent superman grossed $291 million at the box office but the "lord of the rings" grossed 377 million. clearly, the market says invisibility, not to mention, the invisible hand of the market is invisible. double win for invisibility, two invisible thumbs up. >> now, as long -- [ cheers and applause ] >> stephen: people love the invisibility. as long as we are talking super man
trouble showing it there. the square is available on netflix and in select cities on january 17. it's remarkable. jehane noujaim. thank you. [cheers and applause] [cheers and applause] >> jon: that's is our show. here it is your moment of zen. norad is gearing up for the annual santa tracking mission. >> santa has a couple of m-18's on its tail. they
now have the freedom chip, the one mile long 25 story tall megaship that is more like a floating city than a boat. it would carry up to 50,000 full-time residents. unclear how taxes would work for people there but they said it will not be registered in the united states. so uncle sam would not be able to get to people on that boat. >> stephen: that's right, the freedom ship with all the slick design of an unfinished parking garage. and everything the stateless billionaire tycoon needs to feel at home. banks, casinos, and a 1.7 million square foot international shopping mall. imagine, an enormous mall you never have to leave because you can't. it's up to you, another orange julius or a watery grave. and as for accommodations, freedom ship offers the ultimate in high net worth real estate. for as little as 9.1 million you can reserve a water view ultimate apex room boasting such luxury amenities as carpets, lights, and finished walls. what? finished walls! that's like the hot tub of blocking wind. (laughter) freedom ship is also for your freedom children who will receive the finest scho
is available on netflix and in select cities on january 17. it's remarkable. jehane noujaim. thank you. [cheers and applause]
and in select cities on january 17. it's remarkable. jehane noujaim. thank you. [cheers and applause] ó8]÷ál-xj,íj ,96z 0úxhçhç4=4=p%u [cheers and applause] >> jon: that's is our show. here it is your moment of zen. norad is gearing up for the annual santa tracking mission. >> santa has a couple of m-18's on its tail. they  ♪ chappelle's show, chappelle's show ♪ ♪ chappelle's show ♪ chappelle's show ♪ chappelle's show ♪ ow! ♪ whoo-hoo-hoo! ♪ whoo-hoo! ♪ yeah, yeah [♪...] let's start the show. [♪...] [cheering and applause] announcer: dave chappelle! oh, wow... man. welcome, welcome to the chappelle show, everybody. thanks for coming out, man, i am your, um, host. [laughs] [laughter] you know, i gotta tell y'all. i just bought one of the hottest albums i bought in a long time, man. that, that chocolate factory, that r. kelly. he put it down. [applause] i mean, say what you want to say about his scandal. but the music is scandal-proof, you know what i'm saying? and any real fan of r. kelly wouldn't let that scandal stop him. because if you was paying attention
in new york city. >> stephen: in support of that you are introducing a new 50th anniversary. >> absolutely. >> stephen: of -- there is the 20 -- this is the 2015 mustang. uh wow. [ applause ] >> stephen: my question is, though you still know it is 2013, right? and yet we are looking at the 2015 mustang. >> yes. >> stephen: i assume you have come here to tell me about it in the 2028 ford time machine. does it have a jet pack? >> that is the future. that is the future, yes. >> stephen: we should hope so. >> absolutely. >> stephen: now, speaking of cars of the future, you guys, let's talk about cars of the past and car companies of the past. >> yes. >> stephen: because back in the old auto bailout you are the only zero company that didn't take a bailout. >> right. >> stephen: gm and chrysler had to be bailed out. what is it about ford and one of the reasons i like you guys is that you are capitalists unlike those bolsheviks over at gm and chrysler. comrade! what do you think of those guys sucking on the government teat? >> isn't it better for them to be whipped out of the gen
Search Results 0 to 16 of about 17 (some duplicates have been removed)